Oh how we consume our days with the rip and the run. We don’t even have time to open our hearts for humanity’s sake and say a little prayer.
My prayer today is for peace to cup the hearts of all those who’ve lost someone in the tragedy in Haiti and for grace to lead those lost home. Amen.
Ohhh I can’t wait to go back home. To Philly. I can’t wait to get my new two bedroom apartment, in a quiet, grown-up neighborhood. I can’t wait to clean my empty apartment for the first time, before the move. Hmm, maybe I should have a cleaning party. Each person I invite can bring a specific cleaning product or cleaning tool. I can set up a table with finger food, a disposable cooler for beverages. It would be so much fun!!!
But wait. If I have a cleaning party, I’ll have to have a house-warming party. Grrrrr… I don’t like those. Anyhow… I’ve got a couple of months yet to think about those things. What I can’t stop thinking about is the fact that I get to get furniture. Woo-hoo. I’ve started watching HGTV for idears. I’ll have to get a lot of things via finance. I don’t want to do it but I don’t want to live in an unfurnished apartment for several years either. Hellooooo.
Ughhh. Six more months. I have to continue to plan and get the paper I need to make it happen. I’m finally beginning to get my life organized and it feels so good. That’s part of the reason for my rambling. Anxiousness is the other part. Hello 2010!
The Best
More Work: I was blessed with a part-time job in addition to my full-time job. It came just in time too. I’ll need all the money I can get my hands on for the move next year.
Change: President Obama was sworn into office and I was among the millions to witness it in our nations capital. It was an opportunity of a lifetime.
Graduate: Diva got accepted to graduate school after stressing over whether or not to go back. Now, I pray that she gets through.
Star Trek: Yeah… it made my list. My most anticipated movie of 2009 was of course Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. But, after seeing Star Trek, I would gladly trade in my Transformers tickets for this exciting prequel.
Shining Star: Star got accepted to a four year college out of state. Way out of state. I’d like to think that I was her inspiration but she definitely took a step further with her choice.
The Worst
Eloped: Well, Foxtrot didn’t run off secretly. But, dammit she ran off naively and married her old flame. Now she’s "whoa". I’m not surprised.
Thriller: When I heard of Michael Jackson’s death, it was truly a thriller. I was so happy for him that he was putting together a farewell tour and then it all came crashing down. If we can’t have him, at least we’ll always have his legacy.
Dumpster Diving: I was depressed and down in the dumps for much of this year. That is of course until I came to terms with Foxtrot and my feelings surrounding her sudden partnership.
Goodbye: Survivor finally decided she would not put up with the abuse anymore and demanded a divorce. It was a huge drama-fest but long overdue. This is where my world began unravelling.
Hopeless: I gave up trying to be an exceptional nurse. At least my own definition. When I stepped on the floor my goal was no longer to give my patients all that I could. Instead, it was "keep them alive" and "clock out on time". Actually, this is what also kept me depressed much of the year.
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Of course, there are so many more "bests" and "worsts" of 2009. These were just a few that I could think up quickly. I have a poor attention span so… that’s it baby…
Why must people bring their twenty children grocery shopping with them. Don’t they have a sibling or a cousin they can leave them with? Dammit!
After having a conversation with Foxtrot, I was faced again with one of my top ten pet peeves: scapegoating. The one thing that pushes this pet peeve into my top five is when God is used as the scapegoat. Foxtrot is, like I thought she would be, frustrated with her marriage. I dare not say to her “well, what do you expect after marrying someone that you haven’t had contact with in thirty years only three months after reuniting?” What’s the point? I whole-heartedly believe that she knows this already. But, she’s also scapegoating.
She is scapegoating. She says to me “God has me here for a reason.” The problem with that statement, when made anyone for any reason, is that it is completely devoid of responsibility by the person making the statement. Take Foxtrot’s situation for example. She believes that God has her in Florida with her now husband for a reason. She fails to make mention that she made the decision to accept his proposal after three months of courtship online and over the phone. She also made the decision to get married the day after the proposal. She chose this life for herself. God didn’t suggest it. So why is He made to be the scapegoat?
God does have a plan for our lives but have we a responsibility. We have a responsibility because He gave us the right to choose. Everything does happen for a reason and most of the time it’s because we chose for it to happen. We make decisions that ultimately lead to those things that we want and need. If your life sucks, it’s because you have made decisions that ultimately led to a sucky life. If your marriage sucks, it maybe because you were unrealistic about your expectations before you got married. You decided so you take responsibility. Don’t blame God.
This is the week that I establish a routine.
I am sooooo ready for 2010: more growing, reading, writing, hanging, traveling, studying, exploring, praying, shopping, loving and being loved.
This past weekend on the floor was the best in months. I wish that our nurse-patient ratio could remain 1 to 3.
So this Pizza Hut commercial has got me craving pizza.
I cracked open my Bible when I returned from Philly. I haven’t done that in months.
My trip home was soooo short but it reminds me of all the things (good and bad) that I have to look forward to in half a year.
I’m both afraid and delighted that when I return to school my class will be cut in half.
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